This blog is cock free
When it comes to differentiating the quality of something, I like to use the term(s): rich man, poor man, homeless man. For example: Jennifer Aniston is a homeless man's Sandra Bullock who in turn is a poor man's Julia Roberts. Does Jen give you the acting chops and loveability that a Julia would get you while still seeming like a catch and attainable? Of course not, but Julia Roberts sure as fuck wouldn't star in "Along Came Polly," next to a big eared Jew. When I think of the word snob with whatever subject it may be attached to: film snob, TV snob, art snob, masturbatory snob, music snob, etc. I think of it as a homeless man's version of the word: expert. At best a poor man's version of the word: buff. What sounds better, I'm a Civil War Buff or a Civil War Snob?
Robert E. Lee, biggest Civil War snob EVER!
Being a snob merely takes access to internet, not even high speed; I looked that shit up on dial up. (I still have AOL because I'm a 56k buff.) If a fellow snob was to ask me what piece of Modest Mouse work is my favorite I could simply pick an obscure track on one of those EPs and say "Float On, is shit and just catchy, pumped out so the masses could feel Indie." (snobby) The plaid shirt wearing snob would simply nod his head and grab me a PBR. Now if I was bullshitting a buff they could ask me if I like the version with the band's original demo or the digitally released version? I would be grabbing my ankles in shame in no time. When you are an expert you can speak publicly to buffs and snobs on your expert subject. Neil deGrasse Tyson, is a rocket scientist who hosts and gives commentary for a bountiful amount of television programs and he can spew out information, theories and facts to just about anyone in the scientific community and it goes accepted.
Rocket man not to be confused with rocket scientist
Why is it that we have so many snobs? If we look back at our teenage years generally 14-19, we feel awkward, like we don't belong and generally misunderstood. With the exception of the superjock and the slutty drill team girl, who are celebrated and revered by the majority of the beleaguered high schoolers. But you thought so what if that jock has slept with every girl you masturbate to? So what if that cheerleader has nice clothes and an ass that don't say no? They don't know what, Robert Smith's voice sounds like on your copy of some fucking live, Cure song that you found on some blog or youtube or maybe, secretly, Maxim Blender.
That cheerleader doesn't know what it's like to be so mature high school guys don't understand her; causing her to fuck dudes she meets at Coffee Break who are in their mid 30's, like you have.
Girl, I live right around the corner from Coffee Break
I get it. That music was your savior in a time of strife, when you felt lost and alienated by everyone around you. Now that most of that shallow high school life has become a part of the past and thanks to advancements in technology and the invention of youtube; people who were genuine buffs and actually had to scour mass distances by horse and buggy perhaps or be somewhere to get rare footage of live performances or special intimate gigs, have spawned the life of millions of snobs. When people who have no power are suddenly given even the slightest amount they can go bananas, to quote, Gwen Stefani, "b-a-n-a-n-a-s". Now the music snobs have made the music that spoke to them as the outsiders as a tool to make others feel like the outsiders. They have taken everything that music was supposed to be a catalyst for and turn it into the polar opposite.
With the jock and the cheerleader, it took countless, tiresome hours and probably some fiscal risk to reach their level. The masturbatory buff had to sneak into a shady video store to spend money, risk career and marriage and get a copy of Harry Twatter: The Prisoner of Asskaban and watch an underage girl get creampied 37 times, now that is what I call a buff! Now the masturbatory snob can just jump on pornhub or xvideos. It was blood, sweat and tears. Neil went to Harvard and then received a master's and a doctorate from Colombia. It takes levels of dedication to which a snob can't even comprehend. The icing on the cake is that music snobs don't boast about their own accomplishments the way an expert would boast about their education and credentials. They are boasting about other people's accomplishments.
Two to three years ago we gawked in awe of the guitar hero player, even more so than the actual guitarist/song writer. Reaching it's pinnacle in the South Park episode, Guitar Queero. The fact remains the same, the only one who thinks your youtubing and blogging is worthy of merit is you, 14 year olds and no one else. You can only reach a certain status from the hard work of others and that status is dogshit tampon. Unless you're Thomas Edison.
Polish my pole, Tesla
Besides, snobbing is fucking lame. Think about it if you told me you were into, Ryan Gosling before he was big and on the Mickey Mouse club it wouldn't make you cool; it would make you a fucking douche bag or a fucking pedophile. But go ahead boast away, I say. But just pay heed to my script and remember that as the blogosphere grows and that 6,000 hours of video is uploaded to youtube every second* that snobs are going to keep growing in number and pretty soon you will drop even lower in the annals of culture.
*citation needed
